I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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