Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
