i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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