i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
