happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
