dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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