so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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