Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
