YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
