I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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