my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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