I can text with my tongue
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
