i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
