let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
where are my eyebrows?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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