I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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