And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
