I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize