I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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