grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
