when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
