oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Randomize
