That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
