is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
