I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
