The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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