Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
