Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
