I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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