Sry I called you an 8
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
