So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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