Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
