anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
