you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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