I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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