so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
