i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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