I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
