Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
