...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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