Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
