dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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