I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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