It's like God shit irony all over that family
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
