I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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