now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
