i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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