Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
