have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
