oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
