i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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