This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
