At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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