from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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