it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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