i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize