She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
