she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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