Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wish my penis had a tongue
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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