i need an iv and a liver transplant
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
its liver damage thursday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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