Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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