I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
