Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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