Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
