Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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